Speaking Horse to a Pony

It seems the animals here don't like me. Normally, I'd think it was just a misunderstanding, but Andie's noticed it too. It began early in our time here, when on a hike I tried speaking Horse to a pony. 'Neehehe' I said to the little fellow. He ignored me, so I said it again a little louder. 'Neehehe.' Well, that little pony let out a slew of profanity like you've never heard. I'd rather not repeat it here, but it was to the effect of 'Don't you come talkin' your Horse-talk to me, boy. I ain't no horse, and I'm not having you talk to me like I was. Do it again and I'll come stamp on your face.' 'Alright, buddy,' I said, and we walked away to his cursing. Terrible little creature.


It wasn't long after that we met another pair of ponies. They were in a pasture we needed to cross to get to my trout stream and to continue to Andie's trail. Well, as you can see Andie was loving up on them. She kissed and petted their soft little muzzles, and they followed her around like ducklings. At one point I came up to Andie to give her the camera. The boy pony must've taken offense to me moving in on his women, so he bit me. Fast and sharp on the back of my arm, he nailed me. When I wheeled to see what the heck had just attacked me, he trotted away snorting. Evil beast.


Every now and again we babysit our housemates' ferret. His name is Koo-koo, and probably not by accident. Typically, we have the little weasel up to our flat and try to keep him from doing too much damage in the requisite exercise time. During this time, he runs around trying to pull over, pry open, and fit into everything that either contains food or stinks. Here read laundry basket, fridge, and garbage cans. He's usually successful. Sometimes he even leaves us a little poop-present in the corner. Well, this past weekend he was doing his thing but, for some reason, kept trying to climb up to our open windows. Being that we live on the fourth floor, I didn't think dear Koo-koo would survive the educational experience. So I kept shoeing him away from the windows. Eventually, I just closed the windows and locked him out of that room. Well, he was none too happy and showed it by raring up on his hind legs and hissing at me. I just ignored him and kept reading. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the demon ferret came flying from the side and attacked my leg. He bit me and ran off. Koo-koo and I have filed for separation on grounds of irreconcilable differences.